"I know you think the fundamentalist triumph is complete. America is going to be just like The Handmaid's Tale now. The Bush Administration will take orders from Christian ayatollahs who command all-glass mega-churches in the suburbs of Denver and Houston. The president will be proclaimed a Protestant Pope, God's infallible messenger on Earth. Roe v. Wade will be overturned. The minimum wage will be lowered to $1 an hour, where it was in the 1950s, when everything was perfect. The FCC will order all radio stations to play Toby Keith, and Congress will so brazenly destroy the wall between church and state that the next federal budget will include $10 million for the 700 Club Pledge Drive.
Stop worrying. I am here to bring you hope. I am here to tell you that the cultural Cold War now wracking America will be won by the liberals, by the forces who want to take this country forward into the 21st century, not backward into the 12th..."
Cheer Up, Liberals