Modern Mayan Slaughtercomb:
"...The most talented of the two-legged bipeds shall play in a field with chigger infested grass approximately 3 to 4 feet in height. The grass should be infested with copperhead snakes and deadly Indian scorpions, both of which should be properly taunted with hot, pointed sticks to the point of instant aggression. At mid-field, a bear cave should be constructed of tick-infested paper and fecal glue. The bear will serve as a clubbin' bastard of all approaching players. The players will be totally naked except for 45 pounds of recently killed fish strapped to strategic points on their bodies, including arms, legs, and the ever precious ankle of protection power. The bear beats all who approach -- except those who carry the glowing honeycomb which is obtained from crocodile moats at each teams goal lines. Before each game, if available, a human will be tossed in similar fashion to that of a coin. The tossed human shall be a child, preferably of ripe age and breeding, minimally moistened for maximum flippage...."