"Reserved for heretics and atheists (acording to my informant, who held a rare visiting fellowship), The Sixth Circle of Hell boasts the largest faculty of philosophers in the universe. Given its permanent endowment and aggressive recruiting methods, I expect the Sixth Circle to be the top- ranked philosophy department for quite some time, perhaps eternity. (But keep checking this space until then.) This school's secret? It's their retention program: faculty members are not permitted to leave, no matter how big the outside offer. The downside, of course, is that the worst damned philosophers gain effective tenure upon arrival. However, the distinguished senior faculty includes Socrates, Spinoza, Hobbes, Nietzsche, J.S. Mill, and Bertrand Russell, among many others."
Monday, May 12, 2003
Tips for the Top: How to be a Philosopher
Technique 1
"Begin by making a spurious distinction. Befuddle the reader with your analytic wizardry. The reader will enter a logical trance, from which she will be unable to recall the initial spurious distinction and will feel strangely compelled to accept your conclusions."
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